In December last year, I found myself in Lanzarote feeling out of sorts. I’d decided to take myself away for a bit of “me” time to reflect on things. If I’m honest, I was running away from life for a few days and wanted to be far away in a place I didn’t know. At the airport I’d bought myself a magazine and was reading it by the poolside when I came across an article about your personal values. It had a number of activities to help you understand more about your own values; which you were living by, and which you were seeking more of. Interestingly, despite doing this sort of activity numerous times (and helping others do similar!) something came up for me which I’d not had before. I was seeking security.
Things in life were feeling a little unstable, and I realised I wasn’t feeling as secure as I’d like to be. I was seeking security from numerous external places – my work, my home situation, my relationships… (and because I was feeling so insecure I wasn’t finding much security). This was playing on my mind quite a bit; so much so that I almost chose security as my word for 2019.
Fast forward nine months and my circumstances have changed a lot in that time. On paper, most people would say I have less security now than I had then. But do you know what? I feel the most secure I have in a long time. So what’s that all about then?
Well, I’ve learnt a lot about myself this year. I’ve invested more time and energy in my relationship with myself, and I’ve discovered how important that is. I love and respect myself, which shows up in lots of different ways – things like keeping the house nice and tidy, doing something every day to be kind to myself, and making time for things that are special for me.
Now I realise the security I was seeking didn’t have anything to do with my external circumstances, it comes from within. What’s so powerful about this is that I can always choose to feel secure in myself regardless of my situation, and that feels amazing. Whatever is going on in my world, I can tune in to my real self and appreciate myself for who I am.
If I find myself feeling insecure in future, I’ll know it’s time to check back in with myself and nurture that relationship 🙂
What could you do to reconnect with yourself when you’re not feeling secure?
How can you continue to nurture your relationship with yourself?
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