I’ve recently finished watching a short series on Netflix called Living With Yourself, and whilst it wasn’t a show I’d necessarily recommend (it got a bit weird!) it has a really interesting premise that aligns with something I’ve been learning about recently and want to share.
SPOILER ALERT: Whilst I won’t say much about the specifics of the show, I am going to talk about the concept the show explores which is revealed in the first episode.
So, the main idea of the show is that a guy is living a life that doesn’t feel great, and out of desperation he goes to a clinic, pays an extortionate amount of money for a new improved version of himself, and ends up with a clone. Yup.
The clone version of himself is a brighter, shinier, more positive version of himself. They both have the same DNA and the same life situation; same job, same work projects, same home, same wife. The clone is loving life, the “real” him isn’t. The clone him is successful at work, enjoys time with friends and colleagues, and cherishes time with his wife; the “real” him doesn’t. So what’s different? Well it’s not the circumstances he’s in, it’s not his genetics, it’s not even his previous experiences (the clone has all the same memories), so it must be his approach and mindset.
Which version of life would you choose to live?
I’m pretty sure most people would say they’d prefer to feel good about things. Well, you can!
I spent five days earlier this year exploring this concept, and despite the fact that my brain tries to complicate things, my realisation was just that – I can choose how I feel about things. I can choose to listen to the negative voice in my head, and I can choose to live out my life as if the things it tells me were true, or I can choose to acknowledge they’re there, but not let them control my life.
I spend a lot more time on my own than I used to and sometimes it’s like a civil war in my head. The negative voice spends time in the past and the future; analysing situations and pulling out the things that don’t feel good, and worrying about my future and what might not go well. The real me lives in the present, and is loving life. When I’m spending time with the real me it’s awesome, when I’m spending time with the negative voice it’s not – both in terms of how I feel and in terms of my resulting behaviour.
Now I know this may sound so simple it’s almost insulting – oh OK, I’ll just choose to feel good then shall I?! I appreciate it’s not that simple, and it’s not realistic to be able to do that all the time. What is realistic however is to realise that when you’re not choosing to feel amazing, that’s not you choosing – it’s the negative voice. In time, you’ll be back to choosing to feel amazing again and your recovery time will decrease as you learn it’s not you that’s choosing to feel anything but amazing.
This approach has really helped me over the last few months; I’m still learning but overall I’m much better equipped to deal with situations in life. I’m likely to share more about this over time in case it helps you too.
I’m also co-facilitating an event on this topic (a one day version of the five day experience I had). If you’d like to feel good regardless of your external circumstances, please do join us – Feel Good… Because You Deserve To 🙂
Which version of life would you choose? You get to choose how you feel in every moment of your incredible life 🙂